Looking Up Into The Faucet

The screen shimmers and opens on a scene, circa early 1960′s. A woman lowers a baby into a sink, for a bath. Of all the memories that I carry with me, this is the one that I find most profound. While lying there drinking in the sensations of the warm soapy water and the gentle, loving hands washing me and being facsinated with the colors, shapes and sounds surrounding me.

I just WAS.

To be laid in a sink for a bath, I must have been very young. Before my indoctrination into the world of square pegs and round holes.

I was just ME.

All that I was, was personality with no experience I had no concept of feminine or masculine. All that I knew for sure was that I liked the texture and taste of Crisco.

What I AM

Welcome to my exploration into the usage, or some may say misuse, of bits. I imagine you are here because you want to learn something about me. I guess the first question would then be, why am I here? The best reason would be, I want to be heard and understood. What am I? The simplest answer is, I am a human being and anything beyond that, is a label that has been assigned to me or I have discovered for myself. What is a human being, are we a sum of our fleshly members? I say no. If we were created in our Creator’s image, which I believe we were, is our Creator black, white, olive skinned or Asian? Is this BEING short, tall, obese or slender? Is the I am that I am male or female? I believe none of the above is correct.

The current scientific theory says, at some point in prehistory there was nothing or rather highly compressed nothing and BANG, everything came into existence. According to Judeo/Christian tradition, GOD said, “Let there be light!” and BANG, I am that I am created the heavens and the Earth. Having formed the first human from the elements of the Earth, the CREATOR made that “lump of mud” a BEING by breathing into it the breath of life. Was in that breath, oxygen, carbon dioxide and sundry other gases we find in the air we breath? No, that breath was a portion of the spirit of the I am that I am. The only thing making this creation different from GOD and the other spiritual beings which the I am that I am created, is the free will or individual personality given to this BEING, now shrouded in a fleshly vessel.

I am not this flesh, I am what animates this flesh. I liken it to a diver in a deep sea diving suit, as they peer through the face plate, I peer through my eyes while encased in a suit of flesh. What am I? I am without race. I am without sex. I am without physical stature. I am the individual personality of a portion of the “I am that I am“. What are YOU?

Please stay tuned for the continuing saga of Heather “I am that I am“ Rose